Never Forget’s blog

Well, My life may be hell but i'm still kicken'. I got my first car not too long ago, its a chevy Lumina. Granted its not great but it gets me from place to place. I start college in the fall, going in to be a nurse. I am still living at home, but hopefully not for long. I am going to try to get a job. I don't know where but i want a job at barnes and nobel, but Dollar General is okay too.

So, I am finally getting used to this semester's work load, and have established a good sleep pattern, so i am not as tired. But that really doesn't matter much anymore. I am still stressed out of my mind about college, mostly because i wouldn't be able to afford it, even after all the scholarships I've filled out. we have four months until we are out of here, Bandys I mean. and it feels like i have the world crashing down on me.
Its not school work that is stressing me, its the fact that soon i am going to have to bite the bullet and tell my mother that i have been talking to my biological father. Okay this is the mom that dosen't listen to anything, only the voices in her head. I can't even tell her that i lost.... yeah. you can prolly guess what i was going to say i lost over the summer. It wasn't a mistake, it was a mistake with who though. It shouldn't have been with him, but that's the past.

But my problem is that i can't possibly tell her, not when she's craeted her own reality when it comes to my father. I know he is not perfect, crap i have to go....

So I decided to Write a day in my life so some of you know what the hell I am going through right now, and why i am so bitchy.....

My day starts on Monday,(you'll see why in a Minute)
 I get up normally around 6:30, get my brothers up, take a shower, get dressed, get my brothers up again.(sometimes they don't get up when i tell them too... Make that all the time) I have to rush them to get dressed, Pack their books bags, find their shoes, find their coats, Head out the door, all while i am doing the same with  my stuff.

I still ride the bus... which sux. so i have to be outside around 7:10. I have to deal with the people on the bus, some times that involves screaming at some middle schoolers, and keeping people's hands off of me, Perverted freaks.

Once at school, I hand out with my friends for about five minutes then head to first period, which is foods 2, commonly known as nap time. Though we actually cooked today.... then it's off to the worse class in the history of Bandys, and that would Be Networking 2, the class i am in right now. The teacher. Mr.Story.... He Dosent't teach, yet he complains about our test grades. He dosent't even leave his ass in the course of the period. We mostly read what HES supposed to teach on the computer, which kills my eyes and often starts a headache. I have to listen to him bitch, while these nerds Try to desiper The OSI model.

Third Period is barable, i mean Its a annoying because Its french 5 and ever leval of the class is exactly the same. My good friend Timmy Is in front of me, hyper as hell, and increases the Headace by talking too much. and if its not Timmy its everone elce. There is no winning in there.

Then its Fourth, My favorite class in this semester, with one of my all time favorite teachers. Its AP U.s History. Sure the Homework takes all night to get theough, but i don' t complain about that, its not getting sleep.

I get home, change into my training clothes (kick boxing). And go train with my older brother until about Six. He is going into the Army here soon and he needed someone to work out with so i volenteered, since i need to loose some of my flab, buy graduation. after that i get home and become a clean freak and claen hose until about 8, then cook, and then start on homework for all the classes i have. I sometimse don't get done until dawn. So i don't even have to sleep at all, so that takes the Getting up part out of the next day. Then its all the same over agian.

sounds like fun huh?

I have been searching for my tattoo for a long time, well every since my junior year any way, and i have finally found it. I am so happy, now that i have at least the basic design. I plan on making it a little more my style, but iths is what they'll look like.

Ornate_Angel_Wings_by_seiyastock

Okay, I am officially pissed at one of my good friends, almost former good friend. anyway, He pissed me off royally yesterday in french by telling me that i needed to open up around people i really don't like and stop being a bitch. I was pissed i actually just left class without saying anything else to him. today... well today i am going to let him have it, big time.... this may be a very messy ending to a superficial friendship.  

So second semester started Yesterday, and already I have to read 8 Chapters in my History Book(s) by the 27th, get caught up in networking and also French. I've almost forgot all my french... It's been so long. But I am making a good headway in my book. I am happy to say its almost done and should be published here soon, maybe by fall. Right now I am stressing over the number of scholarships I have to fill out and send in, spending a small fortune on stamps and oversize envelopes. Depression seems to be kicking in on overdrive, and so is the mood swings. I am dreading third because the people in there. Hopefully this semester flies by  so i can start my life out of my mothers grasp, and shed new light on this over worked body. 

This is going to be a long list, since i got most of the fiction part of my library down, And i can't possibly remember all of the titles, but I'll try. this is going to be a long list.....

Twilight
New moon
Eclipse
Breaking Dawn
Sunshine
The singer of all songs
The tenth Power
The waterless sea
Finishing Becca
Eragon
Eldest
Bresinger
Tuesdays with Morrie
All Quiet on the Western Front
1984
Rebecca
city of ember
city of sparks
The Warrior heir
Iron Side
Old Magic
the Hobbit
lord of the rings
the two towers
the return of the king
milkweed
Harry potter and the half blood prince
Harry potter and the deathly hollows
the golden compass
the subtle knife
the amber spyglass
A great and terrible beauty
A far sweet thing
Rebel angles
wicked lovely
tithe
Vampire Diaries (there's 4 books)
The Secret Circle  (the first two books)
Blood and Chocolate
The silver Kiss 
To catch a wolf
Aborheson
Lireal
the Riddle
The Naming

well I have to try to remember the others..... until then...
 

Which countries have you visited? Which countries are on your list to visit?

I have never been out of the country, but my list is pretty long. so i am not even going to list it. I want to see the world no country is an exception.

I know its only second semester, well almost the second semester anyway, and already it feels like i am saying goodbye. Normally when you know you have to leave some one you try to hold on to that person as long as you can, but now it seems like everything is moving away from me, from us. Clearing a path to that stage we walk across in six months. Seniors are in their own little world, I realize this now. We can see everyone else, but its like being a ghost, you're there but they just see right through you. Its like being in a parallel universe or something along those lines. I have become so busy and it feels like the world is moving even faster, there's not catching up..... 

What was the best date you went on in high school?

Ah, my best date ever was only this summer, we walked and talked on the beach for hours. I like a guy I can talk to, and not be nervous about anything I say. We walked about ten miles that night, we got back around 4 in the morning, and got up a seven. Then we both crashed after a couple hours on the beach under an umbrella. that was the best three days of my life.